To live is Christ, to die is gain..

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Tomorrow is a day I have been dreading for about 2 weeks now. It is just an ordinary Friday except for me it marks the day my son Caedmen died. I hate that a day can shake me to my core and quite literally break my heart. I am grateful that I have the hope of seeing him again someday. That he is with Jesus. I do miss him. The following words are for Him, my son,
Caedmen Issac Williams June 12, 2002 - December 30,2002

I've been living for your memory

carrying you with me

holding you in arms that only ache from nothing there

trying desperately to cling to you as a floatation device

just treading water for so many years

my legs have kicked and kicked

my mouth has gasped for air

inhaling bits of the sea with each breath

I can feel it you know

feel it pulling me under

There have been times I have stopped struggling

and have allowed my head to sink beneath the waves

I have opened my eyes under the water

the salt stinging my eyes

yet I keep them wide and try to look for you...

look for any sign of you

and I chicken out as I feel the urgency to breath

I surface once more

and resume the struggle

the struggle to live

to live for your memory


  1. Oh Heather. I understand every word you say. My little 7 year old daughter, Karis died unexpectedly almost 3 years ago under very similar circumstances as Caedmen.. Praying for you on this difficult day. Thank you so much for your music ministry.

  2. Heather, I read your story and my heart goes out to you today. No, this is no 'ordinary' day for you, and most likely, never will be. Surround yourself with those who love you so much, and lean on our wonderful Savior, Who loves you most and has your beautiful Caedmen with Him now.

    Your poem took my breath away. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.

    Praying for you, too.

  3. Heather, I pray for you and Tim and the kids daily as I listen to your songs. Your words you wrote live so true in my heart right now, May God give you and the family peace on this day and the days to come. Dennis

  4. You & husband have my sympathy Heather . Yes , he's with Jesus now and you both will meet him again someday . Take heart in the God of all comfort . Never ever stop remembering your own son . This testimonial blog is like his testimony of a precious life . Whom God brought into the world for a time . Even though we'll truly not understand why God had to take him from this Earth so early . Keep on using something that represents Caedman . Allow the memory of him to live and be as a light to someone . Allow God to use you through your music and these blogs .God will take care of the rest . God bless you Heather .