willingness to be the person who listens ...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

As most of you know I am pregnant with our 4th child.  I am almost 35 weeks which puts me into the "hormonal, slightly  phychotic bi-polar, i am ready to be DONE" category.  You know ladies who have had babies..the category NO ONE tells you about.  It is probably because we don't want to scare the crud out of you poor girls and let you know you become a raving lunatic and you really can't do anything about it but just go through it and pray that your husband does not move you to a hotel for the last few weeks of your pregnancy.  
In my state of mind I have really been feeling sorry for myself a lot lately.  I have felt left out of family events like walking and chewing gum at the same time.  (I tend to waddle more)  I have felt SLIGHTLY larger and a TAD unattractive when accidentally catching a glance of myself in the mirror while "dressing"... or as I like to call it, attempting to not fall on my face while putting on my pants while leaning against a wall while yelling at my husband for having the nerve to be able to dress himself.  I have felt pretty much useless.  It is not a great feeling.  OK, that is an understatement.. it STINKS!  Have I been brutally honest enough yet?  Well, I am sure by now some well intentioned ladies will send me kind, sweet notes about how it is all worth it and that I should just lean on Him and be still.  I am here to let you know that I KNOW all of that and yet I am still feeling this overwhelming sense of blah..  
I am one very blessed Chicky though, because I am lucky enough to have some friends who allow me to blow off steam and then laugh at myself in spite of myself.  It is probably the best therapy a $5 Starbucks drink (YES I DRANK COFFEE.. get over it) can buy.  It is in these moments of sipping the sweet nectar of the mermaid and having Godly yet good humored friends just sit with me that I find my sanity slowly slipping back into my body.  
So, what does this have to do with anything?  Well, honestly I have no "sage wisdom" for you today except to say thank you to all the friends out there who are willing to just sit and listen to us who need to just talk sometimes.  You may feel like it is no big deal..but it is a blessing to us.  I hope to return the favor once I stop being a crazy 9 month pregnant lady.  
Never underestimate the power of being a friend who is not afraid to just listen.