to all the moms...for the laugh, you are welcome..

To start off this Blog I would like to say that this one is for you mommies everywhere.. this is to give you a good laugh. Hope your week goes well and that THIS does not happen to you…. Ahem…


There are many many things in my life that in retrospect were not the wisest of things to do. The funny thing is, for the most part we document these decisions by taking photographs. Not just take the picture.. Oh no, we pose. We go all out. We bust a move, stick out our tongues, bunny ears, funny face the whole sha-bang. I have boxes of pictures of bad choices in my house. The MC Hammer pants one. Oh THIS one is classic, and NO I will NOT be posting any of these. I can just hear “can’t touch this” and see me attempting to go “hammer time” in my 100 different color parachute pants. Oh..Oh.. Oh… Can’t touch this… sorry, had a moment. Then of course there is the whole pegging our pants and rolling them above the ankles…you know, to make room for the 15 pairs of multi-colored socks we adorned before we put on out penny loafers. Which by the way, you put actual pennies, nickels, and if you were amazingly cool dollar bills in them to show off your loafer power. I think it is a resourceful way to keep your lunch money safe. Oh, the memories.. bad choices in clothes. Don’t even get me started on the hair.. WOW. Aqua-net hairspray and hairdryers… at the same time. It is a miracle we all did not have our hair fall out or get burnt off our heads by the nearest open flame. The heights I reached with my bangs were epic. It was as if god himself had parted my hair like the red sea… yes, I have many photos of all these embarrassing things.
All this is to soften the blow of the absolute horror of the picture that my son saw this last weekend. It is really Tim’s fault. He insisted on taking pictures of every single event in our married life. Wedding, first house, first car, first job, first dog, the list is quite long.
So the other day I got our old, old laptop out to transfer all the baby pictures off of it to disk and then “it” happened. My kids of course wanted to come over and see themselves as babies..We were ooing and ahhing over the cuteness factor that the slide show was displaying, I got up to grab my coffee from the kitchen counter and I hear my 6 year old daughter say..WHAT IS THAT?!?!? I turn around slowly and if in the matrix and there it is…in all it’s glory. The BIRTH pictures of Gideon being born. (and I mean BEING BORN) Skye, who will probably be my doctor, starts pointing at things and asking questions. I am scrambling to answer, not wanting to freak out, I mean after all.. it IS part of life. But then I look at Gideon. He is staring at the screen. Jaw almost to the floor. His eyes are so big I can literally see his brain processing the absolute grossness of the picture that like a bad car wreck he can not turn away from. What do I do at this moment? I fast forward the slide show and we end on a positive upbeat picture of a baby and a puppy (that should erase the other picture right?) Needless to say, I am going to watch the pictures we take and view from now on.