uncomfortable ....

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I woke up this morning in my central AC/heating. Went to the kitchen and popped a K-cup in my Kurieg and sipped my coffee. Went to my pantry and picked from the overflow of groceries what I was going to pack in my children's lunches. I went over to my Mac notebook and checked all my social networking sites and emails. Laughed at clever status updates and lamented over sad ones. I then went and took a hot shower in my own bathroom in my rather large house. I then went to my walk in closet and picked out my clothes for the day. I check Pinterest to see what kind of outfit I want to create etc. I pick out a classic black blazer and white top and top it off with my MAC Russian red lipstick and use my Chi straightener to make my hair look "did". I then gather my children into their school uniforms to go to my new car. I start up my car and open the sunroof and tell the sync to play my morning playlist. I am cruising on a road with not a lot of traffic and I am in harmony with nature and Starbucks. It is a good day. I am feeling good. My kids are feeling good. My life is good.. no worries, no pain.. no.
I wonder. How much of God am I missing? How much of Him speaking to me am I muffling? It is a sobering thought. Today being Ash Wednesday I have been mulling over in my mind what I am to give up for the next 6 weeks and honestly a few of the things scare the crap out of me. The thought of giving them up has me in an all out panic attack. I am finding myself putting myself under the microscope, and I do not like what it shows me. A self centered, placid in suburbia soccer mom heaven in my ideal life in my ideal comfort zone. Comfort zone.. think about that phrase for a moment. Comfort-a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from pain and anxiety. Zone-any continuous tract or area that differs in some respect, or is distinguished for some purpose, from adjoining tracts or areas, or within which certain distinctive circumstances exist or are established.
So What I have done is created a continual tract of absolute self satisfaction and bow to any want I feel.
To say that this is not a picture of who I want to be is a gross understatement that is ridiculous to even type actually. Why do I create such comfort for myself? Why do I feel the need to have satisfaction surround me? What is it that I am placing in place of God? As I think about it I am convicted. No, I am disgusted. I sincerely am at a loss.
I am taking the next 6 weeks and giving up some "comfort" in my life. I know it is going to be tough. I know I am not going to like it... actually I probably will hate it and not be the nicest person to be around for the next few days, but I am praying that by denying myself some comfort I will put God back in the place He should be in my life. The place where I can literally have Him BE my comfort.

I am not telling you what you should do or how to do it, but I do know that this is a perfect opportunity during Lent to take 6 weeks and let go of some "comforts" in your life and let God be comfort for you.

In Christ,


  1. sometimes, i've wondered the same thing. sometimes, i'm really grateful for the things in my life that make me stop and lean on Him because, really, i can't do anything without Him. sometimes, i think you read my mind before you write your posts :)

  2. Thanks. This was a great read that makes me examine some of the comforts afforded to me that can get in my way of God being my comfort